Christmas cheer or another cock-up?

(Cock-up is not as rude as it sounds: from letterpress printing when type was “cocked up”. It was obviously an expensive mistake, unless timely spotted by an eagle-eyed operator.)

But enough of the education. I don’t know what your Christmas lunchtime was like. It’s a very stressful period in our house. “Will those men be back from the pub for 3.00pm?” worry the womenfolk. (Years ago it used to be 2pm, but times change.) “The parsnips are drying out fast”, or words to that effect. “Can we squeeze in another half (hrmm)?” from the opposite sex – a good ten minute walk away at five to three.

A little while later, the confrontation. That’s when the timing of the good ladies reveals itself. The Royle Family yesterday revealed what the good cheer (and plenty of it) will do to offset turkey still undercooked (pop bits in the microwave); gravy cold and difficult to pour; potatoes like crisps; and the afore-mentioned parsnips needing only a match to start a house fire.

Oddly, in my old printing company and I suspect many others, when there was little work and the minders had time on their hands, there were more cock-ups than usual. So there has to be a balance. People need to be relaxed (not too relaxed) with enough time to do the job properly – not feeling under pressure. And maybe a brief rest after to savour their achievement (Not too long, though. Sometimes I wildly mused that the alcohol would be better used in the minders than in the damping.)

Knowing what’s needed in the job and planning its production to a deadline is vital. It does please the consumers when the job is both good and on time. It’s also good to minimise waste. Take the Christmas dinner. We don’t all want turkey for five days (days 4 and 5 in various curried formats) or bubble and squeak for breakfast ad infinitum. Actually I don’t mind the last one.
So your New Year’s resolution should be to organise the ingredients (costing), sort out the cooking timings (kitchen production planning) and work to a practical deadline (schedule for pub opening hours).

Compliments of the Season and I wish you all a very prosperous New Year! (If I could only remember where I hid the port, I could enjoy the last of the stilton.)

Norman